I am officially on hiatus. I have submitted my thesis and never want to see it again. In reality, I probably will see it again when the time for emmendations comes in a few months. I will also need to write a couple of papers and present at a conference in October but apart from that, I am done. Im also done-in.
Travel is coming as a very welcome reprieve not necessarily from psychology, but from university at least. I dont think I can escape psychology now that I have been "psychologised." I say it like I have been "brutalised." I haven't. There are just the normal hazards of accepting the cons with the pros, the Yokos with the Johns, the hangovers with the champagne, the Starbucks with the "only place open that serves coffee."
Others in the profession may similarly curse the day they learnt of personality disorders, the day they uncovered their own deep and painful core beliefs, the day they realised whole-heartedly that the world is not fair, the day they wondered how they would possibly be able to bring up kids in the minefield that is life before them, and the day they realised having a "good day" sometimes meant no one got considerably worse.
If you can get through all that without offending friends and loved ones because you dont always say the right thing, or because you dont want to talk or listen to anyone once home, you're doing alright. If you can get through that without being paranoid about pathologising instead of realising that most facets or life are too complicated to be boxed in any way, without hearing the words "you should have handled that better- you're a psychologist," and without neglecting to find the necessary time and inclination to continually work on your own "stuff," you're doing well. Really well.
I hope the time away will be a chance to work on my own "stuff," a chance to meet weird and wonderful people and a chance to experience a true sense of independence. I dont mean economic independence, I mean the chance to get to know the world, to take my time with it, to feel all the ups and downs and get through them with my own resources, off my own bat. I want to dishelve expectation, mostly my own. I want to be a visitor. I have no unrealistic expectation of getting to know the world without giving something to it. What that is, Im not yet sure. But I have to be open to anything.
I read somewhere... be careful what you wish for- you might just get it. Right now I wish for the hot sticky air of Thailand, the colourful and aromatic markets of India, the warm and comforting feel of Christmas in France and the rushed, cant-stop-to-even-take-a-breath chatter of my sister. Hmm, I better be careful what I wish for.
Wednesday
Feliz Aniversario Ana!
Friday night was spent celebrating Ana's birthday down at Bungalow 8, King Street Wharf. I think I can speak for everyone when I say that the night was a success- lots of drinking, dancing and generally mucking up around town. Not too many accidents, though I did walk smack-bang into a pole. For some reason, despite the force of the impact, I did not feel a thing.
While still somewhat sober, and well before my intimate entangle with the pole, I took a moment to absorb the evening. Friends relaxed and comfortable with each other, lights shining off the yacht-filled harbour, the familiar smell of salt water coupled with sausages sizzling, a blimp with a huge television screen floating above, and the warmth of the outdoor heaters (not really needed despite it being the middle of winter). There was no pretense, no angst. It was the perfect Sydney night.
I could not have thought of a better way to party with our Portuguese girl on her birthday. Ana, you are gorgeous, dont ever change. Hope you had a great birthday.
Sunday
Two parking tickets in two days
"Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes" Oscar Wilde
Lately, Im feeling very experienced. My judgment failed miserably on two occasions in as many days, and I literally paid for it. Now I cant possibly buy that great digital camera I saw on eBay, instead I'll be buying the "ok" one. I have a feeling that the reason my judgment failed, and why subsequently 6 megapixles turned into 5, and then dwindled into 3, is due to two forces: Optimism bias and magical thinking.
Optimism bias, a theory first proposed by Kirscht et al. (1966) states that people consistently believe negative events are less likely to happen to them (e.g. heart attack, injury in a car accident), and that they are more likely to experience positive events (e.g. have a gifted child, own own home) compared to people otherwise similar to themselves. This effect has been found in events that are perceived to be both in one's control and out of one's control, though the amount of perceived control over future events does effect the degree of optimism bias (more perceived control over a negative event, more tendency to believe it's less likely and vice-versa). Interestingly, I read somewhere... that people with depression are more accurate when rating their chances of some event happening- they are less likely to experience optimism bias. So it's not that depression causes people to be more pessimistic, but in fact more realistic about the future. The rest of us are, for the most part, deluded.
On both occasions I knew I was capable of receiving a ticket, but I severely underestimated the chances of this occurring. Further, magical thinking, a style of thinking most of us occasionally engage in (and is present in some psychiatric conditions such as OCD and pathological gambling) played a part. It is best described as our superstitious tendencies, our perceived ability to make judgments about events- decrease the likelihood of adverse events and increase the likelihood of positive events by utilizing some unsupported technique- an old proverb, a good luck charm, a ritual or compulsion (internal or external), or some other constructed unsubstantiated belief. I truly believed that by receiving a ticket the day before, there was NO chance I would get one the next day. I was inclined to believe this even though the car was parked at two different locations, knowing only too well that parking inspectors do not get together of an evening and describe which cars they booked the day before, agreeing to take it easy on some people.
I think my "world should be fair" belief came up, even though I know that the world is in fact not fair, and that on both occasions I was, well, wrong. At the very least, this sentimental longing of fairness should be reserved for times when one is not breaking the law- the most objective measure of what our society has deemed fair. Still, I felt it was unfair. I wish I could "magically" make the tickets go away, maybe by avoiding cracks in the pavement for the next (insert any odd number that can also be divided by 3) days? Maybe they will forget about me down at the Infringement Processing Bureau, it's not like they would send me to court and then to jail if I ignored the tickets. That would not happen. I see I am doing it again! Oh well, I'll keep chalking it up to experience.
PS> I read somewhere... that optimism bias may play a role in the so-called "environmental paradox"- that despite increasing concern for environmental degradation and the knowledge that the impact of humankind on the natural environment may ultimately threaten life on the planet, commensurate adoption of pro-environmental behaviour is lacking. If everyone exercises optimism bias here, it makes sense that the individual is not spurred to act. Problemo.
Lately, Im feeling very experienced. My judgment failed miserably on two occasions in as many days, and I literally paid for it. Now I cant possibly buy that great digital camera I saw on eBay, instead I'll be buying the "ok" one. I have a feeling that the reason my judgment failed, and why subsequently 6 megapixles turned into 5, and then dwindled into 3, is due to two forces: Optimism bias and magical thinking.
Optimism bias, a theory first proposed by Kirscht et al. (1966) states that people consistently believe negative events are less likely to happen to them (e.g. heart attack, injury in a car accident), and that they are more likely to experience positive events (e.g. have a gifted child, own own home) compared to people otherwise similar to themselves. This effect has been found in events that are perceived to be both in one's control and out of one's control, though the amount of perceived control over future events does effect the degree of optimism bias (more perceived control over a negative event, more tendency to believe it's less likely and vice-versa). Interestingly, I read somewhere... that people with depression are more accurate when rating their chances of some event happening- they are less likely to experience optimism bias. So it's not that depression causes people to be more pessimistic, but in fact more realistic about the future. The rest of us are, for the most part, deluded.
On both occasions I knew I was capable of receiving a ticket, but I severely underestimated the chances of this occurring. Further, magical thinking, a style of thinking most of us occasionally engage in (and is present in some psychiatric conditions such as OCD and pathological gambling) played a part. It is best described as our superstitious tendencies, our perceived ability to make judgments about events- decrease the likelihood of adverse events and increase the likelihood of positive events by utilizing some unsupported technique- an old proverb, a good luck charm, a ritual or compulsion (internal or external), or some other constructed unsubstantiated belief. I truly believed that by receiving a ticket the day before, there was NO chance I would get one the next day. I was inclined to believe this even though the car was parked at two different locations, knowing only too well that parking inspectors do not get together of an evening and describe which cars they booked the day before, agreeing to take it easy on some people.
I think my "world should be fair" belief came up, even though I know that the world is in fact not fair, and that on both occasions I was, well, wrong. At the very least, this sentimental longing of fairness should be reserved for times when one is not breaking the law- the most objective measure of what our society has deemed fair. Still, I felt it was unfair. I wish I could "magically" make the tickets go away, maybe by avoiding cracks in the pavement for the next (insert any odd number that can also be divided by 3) days? Maybe they will forget about me down at the Infringement Processing Bureau, it's not like they would send me to court and then to jail if I ignored the tickets. That would not happen. I see I am doing it again! Oh well, I'll keep chalking it up to experience.
PS> I read somewhere... that optimism bias may play a role in the so-called "environmental paradox"- that despite increasing concern for environmental degradation and the knowledge that the impact of humankind on the natural environment may ultimately threaten life on the planet, commensurate adoption of pro-environmental behaviour is lacking. If everyone exercises optimism bias here, it makes sense that the individual is not spurred to act. Problemo.
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