A one night stand with chocolate and Diet Coke

When you've got a whole night of writing ahead of you, when you know that there is NO WAY you will get it all done and you are cursing yourself for "leaving it till the last minute, as usual," there are three things that come to mind- 1) Poor, poor me; 2) How will I possibly stay up, Im already tired!!???; and 3) What do I get?? (the usual cost/benefit evaluation)

I'm sure that we can all relate, however, unlike most people, in a kind of weird way I look forward to these nights. Ok, so it's not fun and I would much rather be home watching the OC (I'm not stupid), but these are the nights I get to OD on two of my favourite vices without feeling an ounce of guilt. It's for the good of my future, I say! Without it, who knows what kind of work I would produce? Further, I have evidence (Ok, it's anecdotal, but evidence nonetheless) that caffiene not only helps a person concentrate and "stay awake" but actually IMPROVES the quality of the work. I do my best work on nights like these! The sentences may not ever end and the sentences may not ever end and the - it might be a little little little repetitive repetitive, but so so so what??? Anyone one marking this will see beyond these small details and wonder at the meaningful, no, profound quality of the work.

For instance, did you know that if you drink alcohol before trying to remember something, you are more likely to remember it?? This information is not only meaningful and profound, but highly practical. We should all be going to work and uni pissed! In fact, I should be drinking before an all-nighter like tonight!! Then I will not only be bouncing off the walls and typing at a million miles a minute, I will also be disinhibited, loud, likely to sing and find everything really attractive- Imagine the meaningful and profound work that I would produce then!!

Hmm... maybe I should just stick to my original plan... ;o)