In general, we need to get specific!

"I am not young enough to know everything" Oscar Wilde

Lately I've noticed that some conversations may start out innocuous and mundane but end up heated. The heat has been coming from an old, tried and trusted friend we know as the "generalisation." It's almost as though a small hole in the bucket that is the conversation appears and then the stream of generalisations pour out like a never-ending pack of Tim Tams, with a horde of insatiable followers. Any question is answered with a definitive statement that one or more of the parties agrees with, and then the conversation gains a life of its own, a breathing and sometimes controversial creation that can be as dangerous as it is entertaining. Why, when a specific question is raised do specifics go out the window? Why, when a harmless and positive conversation on love comes up, does it dissolve into a scathing assessment on the differences bewteen men and women??

I've come to a realisation that almost no one is immune to falling into the pit that is the generalisation (ok except you, Hammo- See? I'm not generalising) I wondered why we, as the *liberal "free thinkers" we like to think we are, continually manage to take the simplistic and determinsitic route, wander down the road that is most travelled, and take one person's behaviour and explain it all away with brash generalisations? We do it for nearly everything- the person's sex, culture, religion, birthplace, whether they are an only child or a middle child, -the list is endless. It happens so easily in conversation, yet at close inspection it is often the most insightless and strange response you can come up with.

Here are some recent examples:
"He is the messiest person I have ever lived with!!" Response: "He's a boy"
"She hates eating anything spicy" Response: "She's from the country"
"Why cant he make one phone call instead of sending 50 texts?" Response: "He's Australian"
"She is so indecisive " Response: "She's must be a Libran, or a Gemini.... or a Scorpio, I cant decide"
"He falls in love so easily" Response: "He's very young"

Hmmm... I have said some of these things! I mean, really. What is it with some of these explanations? She's from the country?! So?? It's scary because it's so easy. The other problem is that we dont mind, and in fact welcome, positive generalisations (or when they provide convenient excuses).

"He's so level-headed and practical" Response: "He's a boy"
"She's so down to earth" Response: "She's from the country"
"He is interested in the environment" Response: "He's Australian"
"She's a perfectionist" Response: "She's a Libran" (rather than "She's obsessive")
"He's a player" Response: "He's very young"

Ok, this is all very well and good but one thing always gets forgotten. What about the INDIVIDUAL?? What about the idea he's a player because he is having fun playing or because he hasn't met anyone to be "not playing?" with? What about the notion that she is a perfectionist because she gets a warm fuzzy feeling inside whenever she feels she has put everything into a task, or because she's scared shitless of failure? While we will never know for sure, the reason behind human behaviour, as complex as it inherently is, cannot always be simple. Sometimes it will be, most often it wont.